he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
