Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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