I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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