i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
