i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
