remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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