its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
