You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
