So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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