the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
