now i know why i became what i already was.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
