HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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