How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
