I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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