You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
