Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Come see our sink grown plant.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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