just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
