My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
