I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
