phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company