Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
