i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
