My first STD was from a foam party
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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