Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
