I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
