Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
