And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
