the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
dude. I can hear the air.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
