Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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