Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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