And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
