Do vagina's smell?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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