Cold hands, warm shart.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
