Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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