Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
