I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
