I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
this beer tastes like vomit already
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
