it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize