There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
