forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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