I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
