What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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