hotel room ftw
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Terrible idea I love it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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