I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
