Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
