Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize
