He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Fuck appropriateness.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
