We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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