Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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