i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
