My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
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I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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