Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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