I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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