Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
