using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize