She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
