I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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