We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
