my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
