remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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