Where did you get a picture of my penis
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
