Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize