i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
