Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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