forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
