a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
