She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
