this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
