forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
