this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
