Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
