he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
